Through MY Eyes

So I recently watched this clip on you tube of Louis C.K. on Conan.  Firstly, this man is hilarious and the clip is worth watching just to laugh your buns off!  Secondly, something that he said in his hilarious monologue really hit home with me and that was, "There's explosions and acrobats and they are looking at it through their little 3 inch screen!" That is what I want to focus on, but thirdly, if you watch the clip the whole way through, the Jesus bit had me rolling on the floor!!!

Back to the 3 inch screen...I need to preface this with saying that I LOVE photography.  I think it is an incredible art form and captures the most precious moments.  I am married to a man with an eye for art and color and he manages to take the most beautiful photos...the old fashioned way...where he doesn't manipulate and delete and retry and touch up.  I think it's an incredible talent and I think that cameras have made capturing memories so much easier and readily available. 

HOWEVER

I also think cameras and cell phones and the quick digital capture of all things in life are the work of the devil.  How can I believe such polar opposite values of the same concept you might ask? Well, because I can.

BECAUSE:
1) A captured picture of BFF's seeing one another for the first time in months is SO EXCITING and fun to see, but a couple will do, I don't need to see 20 of them.
2) Your pregnant belly is totally adorbs and I love the idea of seeing it grow as your pregnancy progresses, but I only need a photo of your increasing belly once a week because the 4 you post daily, well, your belly looks the same in all 4 of them from that day.
3) I SUPER love sharing the moments of your honeymoon and get totally jealous of your beach pictures, but your husband probably would have appreciated it a little bit more if you kept that one romantic dinner to yourselves for your own precious memories.
4) HOLY CRAP YOU GOT TO SEE A CELEB!!! Exciting business! But only once, after picture 10 it is lame and no one cares anymore.
5) Your kid's new shoes or latest smile or newest face is only cute once or twice and by picture 8 of the same thing, I'm over looking at something that could have been cute in moderation.

There are many other reasons and examples I could include, but the most important one for me as I heard Louis C.K. say it is that so often we get too busy looking at life on a 3 inch screen instead of setting down the technology and being in the moment.  I got the immense pleasure of going to Cheyenne Frontier Days and seeing Brad Paisley live.  Before the concert started we took tons of photos, but when Brad came out, The Hubs tucked the camera safely into my purse and told me no more.  I don't have extensive photos to show you how amazing it was when Brad took some one's camera out of the audience and made a video on it for them.  I don't have a photo of the moment he signed a guitar and the cowboy he handed it to passed out. I don't have photos of the reel of pictures he played while he sang "When I Get Where I'm Going" acoustic, nor do I have a photo that captured the incredible feeling in the air as his speakers projected the music.

I take TONS of pictures in our life.  I want them, they are moments of memories I hold dear.  It has taken me a long time to learn this balance though, this balance where I put down the camera and LIVE in the moment.

Sometimes I don't have pictures, but I DO have the most amazing memories in my heart and in my mind.  I have the feel of my husband's hand as he brushed away tears I wept freely and without shame as I was touched by my emotions in Palmyra, NY this summer.  I have the taste of double fried wings and true blue cheese in my memory.  I have the feel of the warm Caribbean and the texture of running my hands across a dolphin.  I have the whispers of our future as The Hubs reminded me of all the reasons I fell madly in love with him on our anniversary at the helm of a ship.  I have the reminder of how my belly aches from laughter when I am with my brothers.  I have the reminder of the sheer joy my nieces and nephews feel when I see them and focus ON them, not look at them through a 3 inch digital screen.  I have the touch of heat on my skin from a summer campfire and the gleam in my eye from the reflection of a clear summer sky.

I'm not saying it is easy.  I'm not saying there aren't moments where something so AMAZING happens that I immediately think I need to share it with people I love. What I am saying is that I have learned to let those moments pass me by sometimes, and to just live in the moment of whatever is happening, and allow the photograph to be in my brains, in my blood, in my guts, for me and me alone.  I still pick up the camera.  I still share things and my parents are so grateful I do, but they also are so proud of the way I have managed to let some of those moments go unnoticed but to me and fox at me feet, or the man at my side or the bird on my window pane.  I love pictures, but I think that maybe, just maybe, my memories when I watch the entire sky bursting in pink versus just the part my camera can capture, are quickly becoming my favorite.