Love Is Spoken Here

Before I set out writing this blog, I want to put out a disclaimer that I have good parents whom I love dearly. They taught me many things and they have each been a rock for me at different times in my life. I am a child of divorce though, and while they were both fantastic at never bad mouthing the other and offering up ways for my relationships with them to be maintained, I still did have to split my home. I was blessed, I am not saying, "Woe is me!" I had a slew of loving aunts and uncles. That isn't what this is about.  My mother once told me I'd find no finer example of love and unconditional commitment than in my paternal grandparents.  That's right, she told me to look to my Dad's parents as an example of what a marriage should be, and she has never been more right in her life.

Sheesh I haven't even gotten to the nitty gritty emotions in my heart and I'm already teary eyed...

When I was a pre-teen (and pretty much the most angry, chip-on-shoulder, hard-to-handle girl in the land), my living situation changed and I was able to live with my father for a time.  During that time I was able to forge a relationship with him, which would be important later, but not truly come to fruition until my early 20's. You see, what happened during that time that was more important than my time with my Dad, was my time with my Grandparents.

I was blessed to have many cousins and siblings around and that group of us were so blessed to have Grandpa and Grandma only yards away from our front doors. They were our second set of parents.  They were a shining example of triumph over adversity and faith in love.  They were a home cooked meal.  They were a shoulder to cry on. They were a pillar of strength built over many years of a marriage full of commitment and compromise.  They were a confidence booster in the darkest moments of being an awkward young woman.  They were wise words spoken quietly in the middle of the night - welcome to the ears of anyone who sought them out.  They were music. They were laughter. They were loud and obnoxious and quiet and spiritual and calm and hilarious and comforting.  You see, what they are, is love.

I have many, many blessed memories of them during those short years of my life.  Sometimes when the real world is really getting to me, I close my eyes and go back to that time, that home, that love so readily available every second of the day.  But to discuss them all would be to ramble, and what I want to celebrate today is their love story.

Sixty five years, nine children, 30-ish grandchildren, 70-ish great-grandchildren, a house fire, a war, many tragedies and many triumphs later, they still sit together like this:

I have never, ever in my whole entire life heard my grandparents quarrel at one another. I'm sure they did when they were younger and I'm sure they still have disagreements, but they do them privately. They taught me that what happens between spouses is between JUST spouses.  You don't talk bad about your husband or wife and you don't talk down to one another, especially in front of others.

They taught me to never stop holding hands and to unite our hands to enrich lives, to bless our loved ones, to serve the Lord.

They taught me that love is quiet.  It takes no grand gestures, no big houses, no huge diamonds.  It is a quiet roar at the end of every day knowing you are spending your life with the person you love most in this world.

I admire this woman for her strength, her wit, her example of how to love and be loyal to the man you love, and I love her for always, always, always loving me.

My grandfather taught me about quiet love.  He is the master of quiet love.  He was always the ultimate decision maker, but never made a choice without talking to my grandma.  He holds the Priesthood.  He told me someday (after crying over some ridiculous heart ache) that in time, I would find a man like him, and although I didn't believe him at the time, he sure proved me wrong.

When I got engaged, I got a lot of advice. None that I hold in higher esteem than the advice that I received from my grandparents. They told me:

*Say "I love you" every day.

*Dance together.(That was Grandpa all the way!)

*Make all your decisions together AND make them prayerfully.

*Talk to each other, every single day.

*Pray together.

*"Wear it often." (My grandmother in regards to lingerie)

*Don't nag

*Don't take each other for granted.

*Go to church.

*Be kind to one another.

*Laugh.  Laugh a lot she said.

At the end of the day, it isn't the worldly things that matter. While I admit I lust after a big fancy house with columns and a wrap around porch, I build my own car on websites, I totally look at expensive shoes, I also know, that in my hear of hearts, the goal that matters most in this life is to live a love story like this one.

At the end of the day, in 65 years, I hope I have a granddaughter that finds my example to be as wonderfully powerful and full of love as I find theirs to be. For that love story shaped me into the very woman I wanted to be.

"And the things they teach are crystal clear, for love is spoken here."