Ok, here’s the deal. I am the first to say that I am the biggest cuddle person in the history of the world. I communicate via touch. I hug every person I care about as often as I can, I snuggle my husband on the couch, and I hold babies endlessly…and I love it. I love to cuddle. So, why, now that I am married and legally allowed to sleep in the same bed with another human being is cuddling turning into the devil????
Don’t get me wrong, I am totally the girl you want to vomit all over when you learn about my sleeping rituals. I brush my teeth, change my clothes, and DEMAND my husband lie in bed with me until I fall peacefully asleep. Poor Doug, he is such a night owl and I am so not, he promptly gets out of bed to go to the living room and do whatever it is that he does between the hours of 9:30 pm and midnight. PS3, TV, Super Nintendo, something….
Herein lays the problem. Eventually, Doug joins me in bed. I subconsciously slide over to him and shimmy up into his nook while he puts one arm around me and we do the classic spoon. For ten minutes. Before one of us is shoving at the other to move over or get off or throwing a blanket off. Only when you throw the blanket off, you quickly replace it because it is freaking freezing in the air of the bedroom. So then you’re mumble yelling at your significant other that you are cold because they are ditching covers. Flash 5 minutes into the future: QUIT TOUCHING ME IT’S HOT!!!!
It just seems to be that space between spoon one’s back and spoon two’s stomach harnesses enough heat to melt metal! Doug even said once that if he could figure out a way to turn that heat into energy we’d be millionaires.
So where the heck do we find some sort of happy medium? If you don’t spoon and you just touch arms or something, when you pull your arms apart they do that yucky skin peeling thing when two arms are cemented together by sweat! AND don’t you even act like you don’t know what I am talking about! If you have shared a bed, you know this problem! So we decided we don’t need to cuddle ALL night long. I told my Mom cuddling is overrated anyway. She just said, “Well, wait till you add a kid trying to get in there.”
Yeah….maybe hot spooning isn’t so bad in the scheme of things.
Don’t get me wrong, I am totally the girl you want to vomit all over when you learn about my sleeping rituals. I brush my teeth, change my clothes, and DEMAND my husband lie in bed with me until I fall peacefully asleep. Poor Doug, he is such a night owl and I am so not, he promptly gets out of bed to go to the living room and do whatever it is that he does between the hours of 9:30 pm and midnight. PS3, TV, Super Nintendo, something….
Herein lays the problem. Eventually, Doug joins me in bed. I subconsciously slide over to him and shimmy up into his nook while he puts one arm around me and we do the classic spoon. For ten minutes. Before one of us is shoving at the other to move over or get off or throwing a blanket off. Only when you throw the blanket off, you quickly replace it because it is freaking freezing in the air of the bedroom. So then you’re mumble yelling at your significant other that you are cold because they are ditching covers. Flash 5 minutes into the future: QUIT TOUCHING ME IT’S HOT!!!!
It just seems to be that space between spoon one’s back and spoon two’s stomach harnesses enough heat to melt metal! Doug even said once that if he could figure out a way to turn that heat into energy we’d be millionaires.
So where the heck do we find some sort of happy medium? If you don’t spoon and you just touch arms or something, when you pull your arms apart they do that yucky skin peeling thing when two arms are cemented together by sweat! AND don’t you even act like you don’t know what I am talking about! If you have shared a bed, you know this problem! So we decided we don’t need to cuddle ALL night long. I told my Mom cuddling is overrated anyway. She just said, “Well, wait till you add a kid trying to get in there.”
Yeah….maybe hot spooning isn’t so bad in the scheme of things.
HAHAHAHA! You crack me up!! You need to find a lighter comforter, a ceiling fan on low, and mayhaps even crack the window a touch! *Gasp!* I know you live in Siberia, but if you make the room just a touch cooler, the spooning and cuddling will resume! Good luck! Love you!
ReplyDeleteBlogs dont have a "like" button so this is me "liking" this post. Also, I concur. Cole and I have decided that sleeping butt to butt doesn't mean we love each other any less. It just means we like to be comfortable when we sleep.
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