My Grown Up Christmas List

I love everything about this song, from the lyrics to my girl Kelly Clarkson rocking them.  I love the message, the reality and the reminder that as we age, the things we want change. Our awareness of the world changes and then the things we want start to seem trivial and inconsequential.  We long for peace, a place full of love and charity to raise our children in. We want to walk down the street on a cold Christmas night and not worry about the steps sounding behind us.  Because we are more aware of the world and our surroundings, our hearts hurt for families who go without and children who Santa does not visit.

Of course I still have things I long for...material things I could list that I would love to have. I am, after all, only human. A new dishwasher, a gas stove, new carpet, new clothes, countless movies, books and jewelry and accessories oh, my!  It seems like as we age, the material things that we want increase in price with us.

I saw a list the other day that said for Christmas we should ask for “one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing to wear and one thing to read.”  I thought this was beautiful.  If it was up to me, everyone in the world would get AT LEAST the one thing to read.  BUT, and this is a big BUT, even a list that small can start to cost A LOT of money.

So this year, when I thought about what I wanted for Christmas, I thought about it in the same way I would have made a list for Santa.  What I came up with, when I let the initial desire for the new Cinderella collection shoes at DSW wear off, was this:

·        I want the magic of Christmas to live forever.  No matter what age we are or what illusions are shattered about elves or the North Pole.  I still reach my ears up to the night sky on Christmas Eve and listen for sleigh bells.  I still hear them…because that is the magic.

·        I want people to keep using the regular old snail mail.  I love getting a surprise letter in the mail.  I think that is a better gift than most, and it is for the going rate of 44 cents.

·        I want to be able to love and to forgive, and to do it with the perfect balance of forgiving and growing, letting go of anger but balancing relationships, not expecting more from people than they can give and loving them, sometimes with the understanding that they are the best they can be right now, which means forgiveness does not always come with forgetfulness.

·        I want my husband to know I love him more than anything in the entire world.

·        I want an A in my last class that I still haven’t received a grade in yet.

·        I want to “want” less and appreciate more.

·        I want to live life and not just go through the motions.

·        I want to remember that each day is a gift.

·        I want to remember that there are a lot of good people in this world, and try to be one of them.

·        I want to be better at keeping in touch.

·        I want to write a book of poetry.

·        I want to write a book, with a plot, not of poetry.

·        I want to someday be the best parent I can be.

·        I want to be a good wife.

·        I want to increase patience and decrease frustration.

So there you have it, my own grown up Christmas list.  Not one monetary thing on there…and that feels good.  Think about it, what we really want in our hearts is rarely something that can be purchased, traded for or acquired with money.

As I head out to experience a Christmas completely away from technology, I wish you all the very best Holiday Season.  That’s something I forgot on my list.  I want everyone to have a blessed ending to 2012. That is something that the whole entire world deserves.

Merry Christmas...and may the magic of the season consume your hearts and last all of next year.