My Grown Up Christmas List

I love everything about this song, from the lyrics to my girl Kelly Clarkson rocking them.  I love the message, the reality and the reminder that as we age, the things we want change. Our awareness of the world changes and then the things we want start to seem trivial and inconsequential.  We long for peace, a place full of love and charity to raise our children in. We want to walk down the street on a cold Christmas night and not worry about the steps sounding behind us.  Because we are more aware of the world and our surroundings, our hearts hurt for families who go without and children who Santa does not visit.

Of course I still have things I long for...material things I could list that I would love to have. I am, after all, only human. A new dishwasher, a gas stove, new carpet, new clothes, countless movies, books and jewelry and accessories oh, my!  It seems like as we age, the material things that we want increase in price with us.

I saw a list the other day that said for Christmas we should ask for “one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing to wear and one thing to read.”  I thought this was beautiful.  If it was up to me, everyone in the world would get AT LEAST the one thing to read.  BUT, and this is a big BUT, even a list that small can start to cost A LOT of money.

So this year, when I thought about what I wanted for Christmas, I thought about it in the same way I would have made a list for Santa.  What I came up with, when I let the initial desire for the new Cinderella collection shoes at DSW wear off, was this:

·        I want the magic of Christmas to live forever.  No matter what age we are or what illusions are shattered about elves or the North Pole.  I still reach my ears up to the night sky on Christmas Eve and listen for sleigh bells.  I still hear them…because that is the magic.

·        I want people to keep using the regular old snail mail.  I love getting a surprise letter in the mail.  I think that is a better gift than most, and it is for the going rate of 44 cents.

·        I want to be able to love and to forgive, and to do it with the perfect balance of forgiving and growing, letting go of anger but balancing relationships, not expecting more from people than they can give and loving them, sometimes with the understanding that they are the best they can be right now, which means forgiveness does not always come with forgetfulness.

·        I want my husband to know I love him more than anything in the entire world.

·        I want an A in my last class that I still haven’t received a grade in yet.

·        I want to “want” less and appreciate more.

·        I want to live life and not just go through the motions.

·        I want to remember that each day is a gift.

·        I want to remember that there are a lot of good people in this world, and try to be one of them.

·        I want to be better at keeping in touch.

·        I want to write a book of poetry.

·        I want to write a book, with a plot, not of poetry.

·        I want to someday be the best parent I can be.

·        I want to be a good wife.

·        I want to increase patience and decrease frustration.

So there you have it, my own grown up Christmas list.  Not one monetary thing on there…and that feels good.  Think about it, what we really want in our hearts is rarely something that can be purchased, traded for or acquired with money.

As I head out to experience a Christmas completely away from technology, I wish you all the very best Holiday Season.  That’s something I forgot on my list.  I want everyone to have a blessed ending to 2012. That is something that the whole entire world deserves.

Merry Christmas...and may the magic of the season consume your hearts and last all of next year.

The Storm

There is a moment, before a storm, of complete serenity and peace.

Today, the weather started off cool, and when I went to lunch the wind was picking up, reminding me that it is, after all, December in Wyoming. By the time I returned from lunch, it was an entirely different story.
The wind was howling and cutting like a frozen knife through every crack in my coat and scarf. The trees were swaying and the squirrels were racing for safety. The temperatures were dropping rapidly and I was sure if I looked to the sky I would see Pecos Bill in the clouds riding into town on the western blowing winds trying to knock my body over. I felt the cold in my bones.

When I left work, I braced myself for the same signs of a storm coming, but I got lucky and experienced the rare calm before the storm.

So, there is a moment, a moment before the storm, a secret moment between the human and the sky. A moment where the wind doesn't blow, the branches don't sway, the animals don't strain against the force trying to push them down.  A moment, dare I say, when heaven reaches down and touches the earth and the air silently whispers to all who will listen, "Go home, I'm about to unleash a beautiful monster on you."

Annnnnnnnnnd...then it was December



http://www.ratestogo.com/blog/best-christmas-light-displays/ 

Shunned for acting just a bit nutty, Dominic Luberto started decorating his gigantic single-family home in Boston back in 2006. He has to get an early start, usually in October, in order to get all $10,000 worth of lights up in time for his holiday party.



His neighbors don’t necessarily enjoy the early display, but Luberto has been quoted as saying that he only wants to add beauty to life and enjoys the happy gazes of children as they pass by his monstrous creation. It may not be the biggest Christmas light display on earth, but it was definitely created with love.



I used to mock people who said they didn’t have time to blog.  I thought they were just lazy or maybe that they were suffering a serious case of writer’s block. I even thought that perhaps they just decided surfing pinterest was a better way to blow time. Then, I became a person who doesn’t have time to blog and now I am issuing a public apology to all the previous non bloggers for my harsh judgments.  It really DOES happen, this lack of time to blog, and in short: that sucks!

I’m ttttthhhiiiiiisssss close to bidding the fall of 2012 semester adieu and with the passing of time I encounter my standard bittersweet feeling.  I learned that graduate level classes really mean nothing except twice the reading and twice the papers. I also learned that the people are so stinking nice in class that it’s almost sad to say good-bye.  When I was 18, people were SOOOO not that nice in class.

I know that The Hubs had a fabulous time at the cabin hunting over Thanksgiving, but I don’t know if I had a fabulous time being solo on the holiday.  I sat down next to my eldest brother to eat dinner and said to him, “You know, I waited my whole life to grow up and get married so I wouldn’t be the single girl at the dinner table hitching rides home with her cousins.  Look at me now, I’m married, I still hitched a ride here with my cousin and a ride home with a different cousin, and I am the single girl at the dinner table!”  I’m so glad he was able to uphold a family tradition, but he was sorely missed not only by me but by so many family members who care so much about him that they have made it clear they are Team D.  I don’t know if I have any Team A’s left?

I LOVE Christmastime – I think everyone is extra kind to each other and I go all gooey on the inside for the music, the decorations, the lights (OMG THE LIGHTS!!!), the good cheer and the joy.  I wish every year I had more money than I do, not for gift giving but for random acts of kindness. I wish I could be the person that leaves the waitress a 20 dollar tip on a 10 dollar bill or the person who can select a family in need from the community tree to provide for.  Maybe someday, but for now I am a few pennies away from being a family name on that tree! Instead I try to spread joy and kindness and smiles and lots of “Happy Holidays!” Words just don’t do this time of year justice, it simply is something one must feel, and feel it I shall!

I haven’t stretched my fingers much this semester, and I know that means people from far away don’t get many updates. I’m going to try to be better about it, I swear!  I do promise everyone will get a Christmas card, which has got to count for something.  J We will be incognito December 20-30 while I set sail to have the time of my life with some of my favorite people.  I can’t wait.  I also can’t believe how darn lucky I am to live this blessed life full of so much love.