There are so many articles in this world about child rearing: When is it right? How many do you have? How do you discipline them?
My brain is on overload with the returning of the students, when my sleepy little town becomes a buzzing metropolis (ok, not really, but it doubles in size) and familiar faces from semester’s past start to show up at church, at the office window, in the union, the library, the grocery store…
Everyone excitedly catches up with one another, and almost inevitably, I am asked “When are YOU going to start a family?”
Immediately, I want to smack your face. It’s not of your business; didn’t your mother or father teach you any manners?
I generally just smile and respond that we will do it in our own time, when we are ready, and without outside pressure. Why does everyone in the world have an opinion on this?
I’ve been told that I should have started younger, so someday I would still be a fairly young adult when my children were adults themselves. We could have more “fun” together, be better friends.
I’ve also been told:
*You won’t know your grandchildren well, you are getting so old by the time your grandchildren come along you won’t be any fun.
*You will be 50 when your child graduates high school!
*You are being selfish.
*You are missing out on so much fun.
I digress…
I could type long, drawn-out counter arguments for every single one of the statements I’ve been privy to this week regarding the appropriate time to have children, but I won’t. It doesn’t serve the purpose I am trying to iterate. Why does it matter? If you were a young parent, great, more power to you. If you were an older parent, great, more power to you.
Why do we feel the need to judge another’s decision? Why does one way have to be better than the other? Why do people find it appropriate to butt their noses into such personal, private and sensitive matters? I’m just saying, people, give a sister a break. Maybe she doesn’t have a baby because she can’t. Maybe she doesn’t have a baby, but she just suffered a miscarriage. Maybe she hates the little tiny humans with a passion, but you would judge her for admitting that, so she keeps it quiet. Maybe, she wants nothing more in this world than a child and just got done trying 5 minutes ago with plans to try again tonight?
Maybe, just maybe, we ought to quit judging everyone’s decisions and trust that what is best for you, isn’t always best for them. Who else is glad it’s Friday?
